Growing with Guidance: Ask, Learn, and Discern
Growing with Guidance: Ask, Learn, and Discern
There is no shortage of advice in today’s world. Opinions are easy to come by. I am deeply grateful for the countless people who have shared their time and insight with me. Despite the lone-ranger mindset that permeates our culture, most people are eager to offer help. It’s the asking that tends to be more difficult. I’d like to share some stories and lessons I’ve learned about asking for help, finding trustworthy sources of knowledge, and qualifying mentors.
Request Help
I grew up in a family that valued hard work, tenacity, and independence. These values helped me develop perseverance through adversity. Like any strength, when taken to the extreme, independence can become a barrier. For a long time, my reluctance to ask for help created a ceiling on my growth.
Combining Persistence and Humility
In a fascinating study, researchers presented food locked within an unsolvable puzzle to both wolves and dogs. The wolves showed focused persistence, while the dogs turned their attention to the human problem solvers in the room. Like the wolf, sometimes we cling so tightly to our independence at the expense of what we truly want. Our pride becomes a barrier.
How can we embody the wolf’s tenacity without losing the humility to ask for help?
Find Knowledge Resources
When you’re doing something you’ve never done, you probably need to learn something you’ve never known. When I set my sights on the freedom that cashflowing rentals could provide, I immersed myself in real estate books, investor forums, and deal evaluation. I was fortunate to have mentors willing to share their time and knowledge, but I was committed to finding reliable investment advice wherever I could. Books, podcasts, conferences, and forums can be incredible sources of knowledge, but we must take action, knowing we’ll make mistakes along the way. Most of us want to be an expert before we get started. Faithfully pursuing our calling as we courageously push through failure to resolutely realign with our purpose is the heart of our shared humanity. Find your guide, whether it be a mentor, podcaster, or author, and honor their generosity by getting in the ring.
Getting in the Ring
I had theoretical investing knowledge, but no amount of studying can prepare us for that first hit after we step into the ring. One of my early investments was a 900-square-foot cottage. I was beaming with joy as I signed the papers on closing day in January… until an ice storm hit the very next day. As I stood under the massive tree swaying in the cottage’s front yard, I realized that I had failed to secure an insurance policy for this house. When you purchase a home with a mortgage, the bank ensures its collateral (the property) is protected. When you purchase it with your hard-earned cash, no one sends you a reminder to get a policy. Thankfully, that lesson didn’t cost me anything other than a cortisol rush and a few shingles, but the insurance lesson is more vivid than anything I could read in a book. Read the books, listen to the podcasts, take the classes, but then get in the ring. That’s where the most memorable learning happens.
What are you learning today? How can you apply it or share it with someone else?
Qualify Mentors
Information is easily accessible, but we have a quality control issue. Potential mentors notice a consistent work ethic and are more willing to give guidance. When presented with a potential mentor’s advice, there are a few questions we can ask to ensure we are taking advice from a mentor with proper qualifications.
Have they experienced success in this specific (or closely related) area?
Have they sustained progress or success through multiple seasons?
Have they faced failure and grown through it with grace?
If yes, we should take note because this mentor has likely transformed knowledge into understanding. If no, we must use caution because their expertise is theoretical or has yet to be tested by time and adversity. Few things can reveal a person’s character as well as how they handle failure. Everyone has something to teach us if we are humble and curious, but we must find their unique area of expertise.
I had many well-meaning folks warn me about the risks of real estate investing. Many of these warnings came from people whom I loved and respected. When people predict our failure, they’re often projecting their fears and perceived inadequacies onto us. My neighbor urged me to sell my rentals when he discovered I was a landlord. The broken toilets, destructive tenants, and astronomical property taxes were going to ruin my young life. I shared with him that I had a plumber, a tenant screening process, and a savings account, but this did little to quiet his fears. These rentals were my early retirement plan, and I questioned the reliability of my toilets and tenants. I tried to explain my dream of financial freedom, and then asked about his plan. He said, “Retirement in this economy? I’ll be working until they toss me into the grave.” I continued to rely on my neighbor for gardening advice, but I would not be consulting him for financial planning or investment advice.
Have you qualified your advisers and mentors?
True Source of Wisdom
Healthy independence is admirable, but true impact comes from teams. Appropriate vulnerability is at the heart of all healthy teams, which means humbly seeking guidance when we hit roadblocks. We are blessed to enjoy the abundance of the information age, but it requires discernment as we sift the advice of our sources. We can transform knowledge into understanding through application, adversity, and time. Wisdom, however, only comes from God. The prayer for Godly wisdom is a request He is eager to grant.
Have you prayed for God’s wisdom today? Is it time to pray for a God-honoring mentor who can help you make progress during this season?
Faith Encouragement:
James 1:5 – If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.
Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 – Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.
George Clason – Advice is one thing that is freely given away, but watch that you take only what is worth having.