In the Fog: Finding the Courage to Dream Again
Hope Deferred
They say hope deferred makes the heart sick. I’m not sure if that phrase fully captures the slow erosion that happens when dreams are repeatedly delayed, blocked, and sidetracked. Apathy becomes a protective layer around the heart because pretending we no longer care eases the sting of unrealized dreams.
With our armor of apathy fitted in place, we can busy ourselves with the daily responsibilities of a perfectly good life. When others ask us about the dream, we’ll politely respond with “maybe next year” or “it’s just not the right time.” Meanwhile, enough time passes that people begin forgetting to ask altogether. Lack of progress and action causes our enthusiasm to fade.
The vision is still there, but it’s become hidden within the fog of delay. It almost feels as though the dream kept moving toward the horizon, while we remained standing still. Have you ever had a dream that was once a clear, inspiring visionary horizon disappear into a hazy mist? How do we get it back in our sights?
Spark the Flame
When the fog is too dense to see where we’re going, it helps to remember where we’ve been. Where were you when you first had this dream? Why was it important to you? What sparked it? Was it an injustice you sought to correct? A problem you longed to solve? A situation you vowed to never find yourself in again? There was once a bright spark that ignited this dream, and chances are it's still smoldering beneath the ash.
The dreams that last are built on intrinsic (or divine) inspiration, not external motivation. They will withstand the many trials that inevitably await. Externally motivated dreams often feel hollow because they’re based on fleeting wins with temporary prizes. It’s wise to focus on who we will become on the other side of a goal rather than what we will have. Intrinsic inspiration focuses on optimizing our character, capacity, and mindset. Thankfully, these areas have unknowable limits, so we’ll never run out of opportunities to grow, only time to pursue them.
Simplify the Path
Before we ask what more we need to do, we should first ask what can be removed. Dreams demand sacrifice, so we must count the cost before we begin. Every meaningful dream requires us to say no to something else. We rarely drift into our calling accidentally; we choose it repeatedly through the sacrifices we're willing to make. Counting the cost isn't pessimism; it's wisdom.
One tool that I find helpful in simplifying the task list is Rory Vaden’s Procrastinate on Purpose focus funnel. When we are laser-focused on a goal, we should work to eliminate, automate, or delegate as many tasks as possible, especially if they don’t directly or indirectly support our dream.
Simplifying our physical space, calendars, and responsibilities allows us to see our dream with greater clarity. Some may be paused for a season, and some may be released forever. We should regularly ask ourselves:
Does doing this directly or indirectly support my dream?
Can I eliminate, automate, or delegate this temporarily or permanently?
Protect the Priorities
Next, we need to create a list of priorities that must not be compromised or sacrificed. We are committed to saving time, energy, and space for these, even if it’s at a reduced capacity. Consistency is the goal; perfection is not. For instance, some things on my list are:
Sundays are rest days
Digital sunset by 7:30
Monday nights are for family dinners
Close fitness rings or 10K steps
What about you?
What are the things and practices you are committed to protecting?
Do you have space, reminders, and accountability in place for this list?
Execute the Plan
Once our space, schedule, and responsibilities are as tidy and minimal as possible, we can accurately see how much time, focus, and energy are available. There’s a good chance that our dream will need every last bit of these resources. So be it. We already counted the cost and decided it’s worth it. Once we’ve decided, the negotiations need to stop. No more excuses. The pathways of pursuit are endless, but pursuit is not optional. It’s time to build the bunker and do the work.
After we set the goal or intention, research shows that getting specific about the details of execution significantly increases our likelihood of success. When we schedule a time and place in our calendar to do the work, it makes a meaningful statement to our subconscious mind. It’s a commitment to the dream. It’s an appointment to show up and put in the work. I use these questions to prepare a clear plan for my time and energy:
What’s one next step I can take in pursuit of this dream?
What’s one thing I can do to overcome my current (or next) roadblock with antifragile resolve?
It’s easier to plan tomorrow's next steps before today ends while we’re still carrying the satisfaction and clarity that come from accomplished work. That dream-chasing confidence seems to fade overnight, but we can leave ourselves breadcrumbs to the next day’s adventure.
Courage to Dream Again
I have a dream that has persisted, even when my courage wavered and apathy swelled. In it, there’s a long table with old friends and new acquaintances, full plates and meaningful conversations. There’s a place where weary people can come to be filled so that we can return to pour out to others once again. It’s a place to safely bring faith and fears, questions and doubts, tiny realizations and life-changing ideas. It welcomes us, however we arrive, and loves us enough to challenge us not to settle there. This long wooden table has become the centerpiece of a dream that still feels a long way off, and I must remind myself often to turn my focus from the external to the intrinsic.
It delights God when we glorify Him by cultivating and sharing our unique gifts to serve and love others. And while He may challenge us to a higher level, the best starting place is usually right where we are. So on the challenging days when the table feels too small and our efforts feel useless, we must remember that it’s just a little fog. The dream may be hazy, but it isn’t gone.
God’s gifts and calling are irrevocable, and that truth lights the path.
And sometimes, that truth is enough light to take the next step.
Earl Nightingale once shared that a dense fog covering seven city blocks could be condensed into less than a single glass of water. In the same way, many of the fears and circumstances that obscure our vision appear far larger than they truly are. When seen in their proper perspective, they lose their power to blind us.
Faith Encouragement:
Proverbs 13:12 – Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.
John 8:12 – When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.”